[$34]
Ever wondered what it’d be like to be deaf for a day? Then buy these Wiener Dog Earplugs and force them in so hard they penetrate your brain. Made from “some kind of foam I guess”, these earplugs make it look like there’s a tiny yet elongated doggie squirming its way through your head. So if you want to show off to everyone about how much you love dogs via the medium of your ears, or you just want to block out the incessant ramblings of a loved one, buy these fuckers.

[$119.93]
Hammocks would be the greatest invention in mankind's history were it not for the existence of wasps. But this Quarter Dome Air Hammock seeks to thwart those black and yellow bastards once and for all, surrounding you in a bug net and creating a mid-air sleeping area wherever you fancy pitching up. Quick nap between two lampposts? Knock yourself out. 40 winks on the move hooked up to two Thai ladyboys? Not a problem. The nylon fabric offers lightweight, resistant support, and the Dacron anchor lines ensure it won't collapse even if you're a fat bastard. I want one, and I want one yesterday.

[$675]
Sleeping in a tent on the ground can be dangerous. Who knows what kind of pervert (me) might crawl in and sleep right besides you? Even worse, someone (also me) might come and murder you to shreds. For safety's sake, you'd best buy a Skycamp Elevated Tent to keep you away from harm (me again). Using a simple wooden structure with a built-in picnic table, the Skycamp Elevated Tent raises you above the status of floor-dwellers and back towards the trees where you belong.

[$20.39] / [£12.99]
When I look at this plastic, battery powered Banana Night Light I automatically think “Light-up Dildo”. Now that’s out of the way let’s consider what else you could use it for. Carry it with you to the toilet when you take a midnight shit, for yes, it is portable. Use it to find other bananas you’ve stored in your bedroom. Leave it in Walmart to make the late shift staff think it’s a banana ghost. The possibilities are probably not endless, but still. I like it.

[$22+]
Everyone has their own hangover cure, whether it’s a bacon butty stuffed with paracetamol, a can of full-fat coke under a bridge or a few hand shandies. Unfortunately all of these only cure the immediate symptoms and do nothing to tackle the underlying cause, which is a whole bunch of toxins sloshing about your body like they own the ruddy place. Enter the Toniiq Hangover Prevention containing one ingredient and one ingredient only…cyanide. Only joking, it’s some herb called Lingzhi which is harvested from some of the world’s most remote locations, the evasive little swine. Coming in packs of 6, 12 and 24, these Toniiq pills increase the amount of antioxidants in the body, enhance liver detoxification, stimulate liver regeneration and enhance the body’s immune system. The packs include black pills and white pills that you take at certain times. Like Michael Jackson, it’s black before bed and white in the morning. That kind of makes sense, right?

[$29.99] / [£19]
The automobile is an invention which has revolutionised mankind. It helps us get places we want, it runs over animals, and it pollutes the atmosphere enough to show mother nature we ain’t her bitch. The only downside is how frigging uncomfortable they are to sleep in. All of us remember family trips out where we tried to sneak some z’s by napping on a rolled up coat, the family dog or a relative’s groin. Finally, a century after the car came along, comes the Window Pillow. This is a fancy new travel pillow which can be stuck to windows using the suckers included. Stick it on the inside of car windows to grab a sly 40 winks, or sleep outside a stranger’s window and watch them eat Christmas dinner and then undress, as you fall into a saucy little slumber whilst the police arrive. No window? No problem. It also folds into one of those U-shaped pillows you buy at airports that stop you ending up in a wheelchair after a seven hour flight. You can now sleep in any position, anywhere, any time. Even in a volcano, probably. Need something more stylish? Take a look at other sleep assisting items on our site including the Pillowig, the Pillow Tie and the Wrap a Nap blindfold pillow. Sleeping has never been so easy.

[$655] / [£395]
Stand out from the crowd at festivals or camp sites with this refreshing tent design from Field Candy. This roomy watermelon 2 man tent is built to withstand extreme weather conditions to the same high specifications of an expedition tent. 100% waterproof, UV fade resistant and with a breathable inner tent.

[$420]
When packed down this teeny tiny minimal Spark sleeping bag from Sea to Summit is about the size on an apple! But don't despair it packs a punch for it's size with an amazing warmth to weight ratio, using 850+ loft Ultra-Dry Down and weighing in at 12.3oz / 348g it's temperature rating is 46 F / 8°C so more suited to summer/spring/autumn uses like adventure racing, summer cycle touring, ultra lightweight hiking and ultra lightweight alpine climbing.

[$159.99] / [£74.90]
Ingenious! If you've ever tried to sleep on the back seat of your car you'll know how hard and uncomfortable it is. The Inflatable Car Air Mattress comes with an electric pump which plugs into your cars cigarette socket.

Every kid wants to be an Astronaut and fly into space to explore galaxies and find some aliens. This Astronaut bedding will help them drift off into space sleep, and it looks cool, sadly they don't do it in double bed sizes, no fair!

A great British made desktop digital radio with a big clear display, outstanding sound quality, headphone socket, and a line input, twin alarms, sleep & snooze functions and the option to use a rechargeable BatteryPack, sold separately.

The Ruark Audio R1 MKII has also won loads of awards...
• What Hi-Fi - Best DAB Radio
• Which - Best Buy Digital Radios
• Hi-Fi Choice - Group test Winner
• How it Works - Editors Choice Award
• TrustedReviews.com - Reccomended
• HCD Trade Awards - Best DAB Radio