[$45]
Who needs stupid electricity anyway? That's what I always say. Because of electricity we can't take toasters in baths, we have to run away when lightning happens, and we've lost some of the world's most enchanting serial killers. I hate electricity so much. So I'm really glad that this Jollylook Cardboard Vintage Camera eschews the use of power and allows you to take photographs using nothing more than cardboard and some holes. It works using Instax film and its body is entirely comprised of recycled materials, so as well as taking pictures you can be a right smug prick about it too.

[$180]
Investing in solar power became a wise idea from the minute Donald Trump pulled out of the Paris agreement and essentially grabbed Mother Nature right in the pussy. The planet is going to sh*t and there is not much you or I can do to stop it. However, what you can do is pay less for your electricity before the apocalypse happens. These Solargaps Solar Panel Window Blinds are a piece of piss to install, they store energy via batteries for later use, and they will reduce your bills by 70%. Just think; you can use that money to buy a revolver to kill yourself when the Ozone layer sods off.

[$13.09] / [£9.99]
How long would you be willing to wait for a coffee? A minute? Five minutes? Several f**king months? If it's the latter then great, you should buy this Coffee to Grow kit and find something to do for the best part of a year. Containing one massive Arabica Nana bean and a bunch of biodegradeable shite, after a few months you can wazz this cup in the ground and voila, out will come a coffee plant. Now all you need is a cow for the milk. Good luck growing that out of a mug you daft arse.

[$13.70] / [£9.35]
Do you love recycling but you've lost your legs in a war? How awful. There is literally no other way you could crush down a beer can other than This Wall Mounted Can Crusher. Capable of squeezing 12 and 16 ounce cans into oblivion, this product is more an act of charity than anything. I firmly believe that even limbless veterans should be able to recycle without prejudice. Hail Hydra.

[$195]
My desk looks like a garbage pile. There's old food, the occasional rat corpse, and some miscellaneous ooze whose origin shall remain unknown. That's just the way I like it. However, if your boss is getting tetchy and you need to clean up your act while retaining the trash aesthetic, why not invest in one of these Dumpsty Desktop Dumpsters to store all your office crap. Measuring 11 by 10 by 8 inches, these steel containers look so much like dumpsters that when you're drunk you'll wonder if shrink rays are a thing. They're also customisable, with all manner of magnets, colours and lids available for the discerning dumpster dependant.

[$19,900]
Would you spend $20,000 to swim inside a shipping container? Me neither. But apparently some idiots would, otherwise this mental Australian company wouldn't be selling these Shipping Container Swimming Pools. There are two versions available of these glorified trash cans, with their only difference being an extra 6 metres in length and a further ten grand on the price. If you're tempted to buy one of these monstrosities I suggest you do what I do whenever I'm feeling frisky. Go sort yourself out by having a bath or jumping in a garbage bin full of rainwater, and then ask yourself if it's still a good idea.

[from $60]
Have you always wanted to eat your dinner off your mother’s gravestone? I know I have. Now with SNAP I can! SNAP is a simple device made of steel which combines elastic and cables into an ingenious design. Four SNAPs can hold a 98KG load and like your dad it can take a thickness of 1 to 4 cm’s. What a delicate soul. This Kickstarter backed product comes in a variety of colours and sizes, enabling you to make tables, shelves and cabinets out of dartboards, coffins, and any old shite lying around your house.

[from $96] / [from £55]
Men, women and children, we all have too much crap to carry around these days. Whether it's twelve copies of grazia, a drum full of rhino medication or a massive sudoku puzzle carved into a corpse, you've got your hands full if you don't have a handy place to store all this guff. Introducing the Frankie Weekday Tote Bag, a spacious and durable accessory made from thick 14oz cotton and hardcore reclaimed rubber, making it literally as tough as old boots. Whose boots? I don't know, some dead guy? Anyway, the Nylon handles make carrying a load of weight rather comfy, like a fat chap having a nice sit down. It comes in burnt orange, mustard and black, which is eerie as that's what I had for tea last night, and is lovingly put together in Chiang Mai, Thailand by fairly paid employees. No Apple-style suicide factories for us! Only the finest products made by shiny happy people are for sale on our site!

[from €10]
Some awesome upcycling of old bike parts going on here, loving the robots from Felvarrom.