[$12.10] / [£9.90]
There are two ways to obtain giant ice balls. Take a knife to a snowman’s genitals, or buy these Frozenpeas Giant Ice Ball moulds. Spherical ice cubes melt 80% slower than square ones, so they don’t water your drink down as quickly. But more importantly they make you look like a right fancy bastard. These are made from synthetic rubber, and if you wanted you could squeeze actual peas into them and have a delicious orb of frozen pea mess. Pea mess sounds a bit like penis. Coincidence?

[$12.03] / [£9.33]
My keys frequently go missing, just like my dignity. My dignity can usually be found in the bed of an obese drunken woman, so all I’ve left to worry about is the location of my house-entering equipment. Well I’ll worry no more with these nifty Animal Key Holders. They comprise of a small steel animal head which attaches to your keys as you carry them during the day. Then when you get home there is a magnetic shield waiting for you to pop them on. Simple!

[$15.99]
Omg baybs we r gonna look sooooo kewl when we file ar nailz wiv dem rockstar nailz guitar files. Omg a know rofl totally! We r lyk so rock chiks am I ryt? U ar ryt baybs.

If you are the kind of girl who thinks it’s okay to talk like that then I refuse you permission to buy these. Unless you first buy a hammer and brush your face with it. These Rockstar Guitar Nail Files from Suck UK are nail files shaped like a guitar. Are they going to change your life? No they are not. Will it make filing your nails vaguely more interesting? Perhaps. Will it make you a rock chick? No. Unless I hit you over the head with a rock. Chick.

[$12] / [£7.50]
Share your tunes with friends using the Jack Rabbit Headphone Splitter from SuckUK. Just plug your headphones into his ears! It will play nicely with the controls and mic on iPhone and other devices!

[$29.99] / [£25]
Depending on your mood you can greet people with the 'Come in' or if you don't want to be disturbed 'Go away' OR leave it as 'Come in' and on their way out guest will be flabbergasted at the miraculous change your reversible doormat has had, now telling them to 'Go away'. Doormat measures 65 x 40cm and is made from all natural materials.

These color changing umbrellas from SuckUK are printed with special ink that is activated by water. I didn't believe it, so I took it in the shower! Have you ever showered with an umbrella? Well it's... awkward I should have trusted them.

Check out these cool push pins from SuckUK. It looks like Nessie is swimming in your pin board!

Cookies are always best home made, show people how good your cookies are with this home made cookie stamp.

Mwah-hah-hah! SuckUK bring you the chair to take over the world with, all you need now is a white cat and some kind of trap door.

Awesome wipe clear mirror from SuckUK, after a steamy shower check out your awesome barnet in the mirizay.

Cute teddy bear lamp from SuckUK,  Funny stuff.

This is now a classic, chuck the SuckUK key bottle opener on your keys and whip it out to impress whenever the need arises!