[$199.99]
As the human brain is given ever more useless junk to remember, like birthdays, your lover’s name and CPR, eventually something has to give way. Apparently that thing is “using your brain to count and stuff”, because with the Wilson X Connected Basketball you’ll never need to use your brain-pulp to keep track of scores ever again. This ritzy tricked out rock comes with a built in processor and all sorts of algorithms and shit. Using the accompanying app you can then keep track of scores, play different game modes, and scientifically determine how much you suck at basketball. Neato!

[$39.95]
What's your favourite sports game? I like that one where the man has a ball and he hits it really hard and it goes into the crowd and hurts an old lady the most. And I bet that would really sting if you used one of these Leather Head Sports Balls. This company makes all your favourite kind of balls but better, with baseballs, footballs and human balls finely crafted from dead nice leather. They're so nice you might never want to play with them, which begs the question…what's the f**king point?

[$65]
I spend all day playing with my balls, and now kids can too thanks to The Hackaball. This is a programmable toy for kids who love technology but spend too much time sat on their fat asses. Using a simple app tiny humans can create their own games using the interior sensors, speakers and lights. High-tech hackey sack anyone? Or maybe it’s a bomb you have to pass around before the deadly blue light appears? Personally, I’d program it to make fart noises when thrown at ginger kids.

[$35.50] / [£9.99]
You know that annoying time of day when you would love to squeeze on more round in but it's too dark! Or you might already be on one and the guys in front are slooooooooooooowwwww and it becomes too dark to play?!? Well here's your solution, LED Light Up Golf Balls, these little guys don't feel or act any different to normal golf balls, yet when you hit them their bright LED light become active for 8 minutes! And then again every time you hit it. A must for any golfer and a fantastic present!