[$28.79] / [£19.99]
The Illumibowl Toilet Light fits inside your toilet using suction cups and is motion activated – which doesn’t mean it only works when you take a dump, however great that would be. It comes with 9 different colour options and to save batteries it only lights up in the dark, which is good, because nobody wants to be the guy who has to change the toilet batteries every week. So why would you want a light-up toilet? Well, perhaps it’s Halloween and you’re pretending to have a haunted crapper. Alternatively you might have kids who piss and shit everywhere and this will help stop that. Or maybe you like to fantasise that you’re leaving a Cleveland steamer on a hot glowing alien in the middle of the night. Who cares frankly, it makes your fucking toilet glow, you know you need it.

[$390]
When choosing a driveway material it is important to consider what kind of aesthetic you want to achieve. If it's understated you're after, then you'll want neutral colours such as grey, beige or slate, since these tones do not draw the eye. If, on the other hand, you want a surface that looks like E.T.'s just spunked his load all over your front garden, then try these Luminescent Driveway Pebbles. Apparently they're eco friendly, but they said that about Lynx Africa and now all the world's dogs are turning inside out, so I don't believe them. They are glow in the dark though, which saves you having to set a big bonfire on your lawn for a bit of mood lighting.

[$29.99]
Furries rejoice! Your prayers have been answered. This set of Mouth Moving Animal Masks for sale at Vat 19 are so realistic that when someone is wearing one you'll actually think you're mounting a real, 14-stone pug. Available in lion, wolf and fox as well as pug dog varieties, these masks strap on to your mouth tightly, providing an unsettlingly realisitic (and arousing) appearance.

[$500]
One day giant babies will take over the Earth. That's the way science is going. I don't have any actual evidence for that assumption, but it is undeniably true. If you want to blend in with those humongous infants then you'll need a disguise of some sort. I'd suggest one of these Creepy Baby Masks made out of latex and real baby skin. Although, I guess they're only creepy if you hate babies. Do you? What a terrible thing to say. Kiss that baby now before someone overhears what a monster you are.

[$8.99] / [£7.91]
I met my girlfriend where most people meet their partners; the baggage hold of an aeroplane. But if you're one of these modern twerps you might have hooked up with someone on Tinder. And if you're still alive to tell the tale, this book of Tinder Nightmares will give you at least three laughs, six moments of self-reflection and one instance of pure, unadulterated fear. Based on the famous instagram account of the same name, Tinder Nightmares is a book with words in that you can pay money for instead.

[$89.99]
Pinatas, just like tantrums and nappies, are not just for children. As we millenials regress ever further towards infancy, the need for adult versions of childhood favourites becomes ever more apparent. This booze filled pinata is a prime example, as it can be customised to include any alcohol miniatures your demented mind can think of, so long as they come in a plastic bottle. Because smashing something full of glass would be a terrible idea, as the people at Nipyata probably discovered during the prototype stage.

[$19.99]
Still buying pre-made neon signs like an idiot? What are you, some kind of idiot? This Customisable Neon Sign is where the fun's at. Consisting of three metres of neon cable and one metre of fixing wire, you can write literally anything you want out of this stuff. I mean, Arabic might be tricky. Chinese too. But you could at least spell out some pretty neat swear words. That's something, right?

[$7.21] / [£4.50]
Whether you need a quick and cheap Halloween costume or you just want to frighten kids at the local swimming baths, this easy to make Geometric Skull Mask will come in handy for a variety of horror based situations. You simply pay this particular etsy seller less than $8, they whizz over a PDF to you and you print out the template yourself! Easy peasy. They do a tonne of other awesome angular masks which you can decorate to your heart’s content, so go mental and buy yourself all of them. All you need is some glue or a glue-like substance, some tape, and something that can cut things like scissors, a knife, or a emo kid. Then you’re all set to create your own fancy skull mask. Isn’t that bloody marvellous? The future ay, I love it.

[$56.59] / [£34.99]
Get this old school official NAMCO PAC-MAN lamp for your games room, bedroom or man cave! Comes with a remote which you can use to change the colour of the lamp (choose from 16 colours) not only that but you can change the output settings, which include Strobe, Flash, Dim and Smooth Fade. Nice touch.

[$24.29] / [£64.99]
Halloween? Why not cookie monster?

[$29.99] / [£24.99]
This is what I call a halloween costume! Get the shirt and the app (which is free) and you're ready to roll. There is a velcro pocket on the inside of the shirt which securely holds ANY mobile device, including iPhone, iTouch, Samsung Galaxy! Double tap the app and the eye will rest in place, tap again and he's off! Invented by a NASA rocket scientist, fact!