[$199.99]
As the human brain is given ever more useless junk to remember, like birthdays, your lover’s name and CPR, eventually something has to give way. Apparently that thing is “using your brain to count and stuff”, because with the Wilson X Connected Basketball you’ll never need to use your brain-pulp to keep track of scores ever again. This ritzy tricked out rock comes with a built in processor and all sorts of algorithms and shit. Using the accompanying app you can then keep track of scores, play different game modes, and scientifically determine how much you suck at basketball. Neato!

[$99]
If you want to take a selfie from high up in the air you've got four options. First, buy a selfie stick and look like a prick. Second, stretch your arms out using medieval torture equipment. Third, throw it up in the air and hope for the best. Or fourth, buy an Airselfie Flying Smartphone Camera, which is compatible with both android and Samsung phones. Because windows and blackberry can go fuck themselves. Basically, it's a smartphone case with a drone camera in it, but you don't have to stop at selfies. Why not fly above ladies and film down their tops? Use it to scope out your ever-increasing bald patch. Or even give a tiny baby mouse the ride of its life and film the whole thing. Go on you cow, you know you want to.

[$29.89] / [£22.99]
As Kanye West would no doubt profess, losing one's shit can be a traumatic experience. But while we can't help you with a bout of insanity, these Tile Mate Bluetooth Trackers can make losing your actual marbles a thing of the past. By linking with an app installed on your smartphone, these Bluetooth tracking devices help you find your lost Macbook, wallet, luggage or child by letting out an inhuman scream if they're located within 100 feet. And if not, one of Tile's other 5 million users will help find it for you. Or they'll steal it and not tell you. That's what I would do.

[$55]
I love two things; gaming on the go and wearing really tight yoga pants. Unfortunately, this means that I look quite weird when I'm walking down the street with a huge console stuffed down my crotch. But lucky for me there's a teeny tiny solution to this problem in the form of the Keychain Game Boy by PocketSprite. Approximately "quite small", this midget-sized gadget allows you to play tonnes of retro Game Boy, Game Gear and Master System games. And you can update your collection of titles using bluetooth and Wi-Fi. All we need now is a way to compress an xbox into a space the size of a lipstick and we're good to go.

[$799]
I like things which appear aged but aren't actually that old. Like Lindsay Lohan, who despite looking fifty is actually only twelve. This Schwinn Retro Indoor Bicycle similarly looks like something you'd find stuck to the wall of a hipster dive bar, but don't let its classic appearance fool you, for this exercise bike comes with many modern features including bluetooth smart connectivity, app compatibility and a swarm of nanobots that will consume your mortal enemies.

[$122.33] / [£119.95]
The Ultimate Ears Boom 2 is a portable speaker compatible with android and apple devices via Bluetooth. This madam has a 100ft wireless range and 15 hours battery life. You can connect multiple speakers to create an outdoor human centipede of musical fun, and connect to the UE Boom 2 smartphone app for extra fancy features. It is also waterproof, dirt proof, and shock proof. So if some prick starts a playlist of Tyga tracks you can throw the thing in the river without destroying the party. Perfect.

[$1,600] / [£1,029]
The first thing you should note is that trying to make this awesome dog speaker at home is an absolute nightmare. The mess created by trying to force a smartphone into the brain-bag of a Bulldog is a right ruddy palaver. That’s not even taking into account where you shove the USB cable. Just buy one of these AeroBull speakers instead, available in white, red and matt black. Containing an amp, two full range drivers and a subwoofer, this dog lets out sound-guffs at 120 watts. Connect it to any smartphone using lightning, Bluetooth and NFC, or regular audio sources through a line-in, which I hope the designers have put on his winky, because that would be dead funny.

[$59.99] / [£32.99]
An Arcade cabinet with full-sized joystick and buttons for your iPad! Just connect via Bluetooth and load it up with a with some arcade classics from the app store, one of the best being Atari Greatest Hits App! The iCade is made from solid wood with a stylish retro design perfectly tailored for the iPad.

[$649] / [£520]
Goggles have come along way, that is all I am going to say! The Oakley Airwave 1.5 are on a new level, these GPS equipped goggles have a heads up display which shows you speed, trip viewer, jump analytics! Navigation, buddy tracking, music and additional information from your smartphone (iOS or Android) like text messages and heart rate monitors which are all connected via Bluetooth! It also has switchlock technology so you can change the amazing lens quickly and easily for another amazing lens!

[$650] / [£400]
Check out this new home speaker from Marshall, the Stanmore is a Bluetooth Speaker as big as a breezeblock! Not really designed to be lugged around the Stanmore is happy to sit in the corner and look beautiful with it's retro good looks, while pumping out some quality sound (guitars especially sound amazing). On top there are some simple knobs to play with, treble, bass and volume which goes up to 11!

[from $660] / [from £424] for 1 wheel
The most awesome bike lights you've ever seen! 256 colours (ultra bright LEDs), double sided, bluetooth download and control, stainless-steel anti-theft strap, waterproof for use in all weather, built-in battery with USB recharge, 8 hours runtime, download your own images and animations but also comes pre-loaded with sweet artwork.