[$9.95]
Some people call them cookies, others call them biscuits. What we all agree on is that circular discs of chocolatey crumbly goodness taste even better when dunked in milk, coffee or tea. Unfortunately the United Nations recently declared losing half your cookie in a drink as a war crime, but thankfully the Dunking Buddy is here to help. Using a revolutionary technology described as “magnets or some shit”, this device can be attached to the cup included or any standard household cup to ensure you never lose a single morsel of cookie. It’s also proudly made in the USA, for any of you snackfood racists out there.

[$23] / [£16.99]
From the author of Bathing in Wine, Shaving with Milk and Dancing in Pepsi comes this astounding new book - Cooking With Beer. This essential collection of beer-based bites contains 75 spectacular recipes using a range of beers including instructions for beer sandwiches, beer tacos, beer cakes, beer frittatas and probably some kind of beer beer. I don’t know, I haven't read it, all I know is I wholeheartedly approve of new ways to get myself drunk.

[$30.99] / [£13.90]
These misfortune cookies are intended as a dark alternative to the often trite messages found in regular Chinese cookies, but the examples given are a little tame to say the least. "At least I believe in you. Me, a piece of paper" and "Happy? It won't last!" are amusing enough, but I want to see cookies that tell me my son will need a kidney transplant, or that I'll choke on this cookie and soil myself before the night is out. There may be better ones inside as each box comes with thirteen vegan-friendly cookies, although they were all written by Germans, so don't expect too many laughs.

[$54.95] / [£69.99]
Are your family morbidly obese? Do you have a crack habit? Maybe you just spend too much time on your phone. These Time Locking Kitchen Containers can solve all your addictions with their programmable lids that can be set to lock for up to ten days. Throw your vice into the box and hey presto, you are cured. Note; this product is unsuitable for chronic masturbators or those with a hamster fetish. Ah who am I kidding, knock yourselves out.

[$66.89] / [£39.99]
The Death Star Cookie Jar is a fantastic place to store your most treasured possessions (cookies) and keep them safe from any Jedi Knights... well, maybe not safe. Looks cool on your countertop and has easily replenishable cookie-based power core!