[$18.39] / [£12.99]
The definition of Netflix and Chill is to invite someone over to have sex under the premise of watching TV. The definition of Netflix and Grill is to involve grilled objects in this equation, which may or may not already be part of your sex life depending on what you’re into. Coming in both vegan and delicious animal varieties, these pan-packed ready meals can be thrown straight under the grill and your food will be done in the time it takes to get bored of Orange is the New Black – 8 minutes. This service isn’t available everywhere yet so don’t get too excited, but you’ll know when it’s come to your area as it will be marked by a sudden surge of lazy fat bastards getting heart attacks.

[$30] /
How many times have you been caught without a tripod for your iPhone? Is it four, more than four, or less than four? If it's exactly or more than four then you should probably buy this Pocket iPhone Tripod so you don't suffer extreme embarrassment ever again. This tripod is portable to hide in your pocket, but strong enough to hold an iPhone at any angle. Compatible with models made since 2010 now you can watch videos on the train, play music out of the rear speaker properly, or keep both hands free whilst browsing pictures of your ex-girlfriend.

[$51.95]
Have you got a seriously hot neighbour you'd like to watch getting undressed? Perhaps there's a secret military base nearby that you'd like to scope out without being shot to death. If so, the AER GoPro Foam Dart is exactly what you need. This aerodynamic foam missile is capable of housing the GoPro HERO 3+, 4 and 5 models, and once its snugly inside you can hurl it as far as your weak little chicken arms allow, and have you GoPro film the whole journey. No longer will you need a drone to take sexy shots down ladies' blouses, now you just need a sweet pitching arm and a good aim.

[$86.79] / [£69.99]
Wish you could use different lenses with the iPhone to take ever more elaborate pictures of your ugly wife, disappointing kids and bland, tasteless meals? Great. Then you'll probably want this Olloclip set of iPhone lenses won't you, you fatuitous prick. Apparently these lenses have similar perspectives to DSLR cameras, but I don't care. They also include fish-eye, super wide 120 degree view, and some other bobbins too, but I don't care about that either. Look, if you're going buy this stuff will you just do it and leave me alone? Thank you.

[$425] / [£350]
Did you know there's a 1 Terabyte Playstation 4 Pro out? You do now. And as soon as you've stopped foaming in your pants you'll be even more excited to learn that this particular version supports faster framerates, 4K streaming and a bunch of other things you won't notice while you're telling someone what their mum does with an aubergine behind McDonalds. Available in various console bundles including a Call of Duty Legacy one that nobody will ever buy, the PS4 1TB Pro also comes with a receipt, so you can take it back and trade it in for an xBox One like a not-idiot.

[$149]
Worried about getting shafted from behind by some dick in an Audi? Worry no more, because the Waylens 360 Dashboard Cam is here to save the day. This dashboard mounted security camera captures everything that's happening from every angle of your car, unless your fat ass is sat in the way of it. And this handy gadget isn't just useful when you're driving either. The Waylens also transmits video directly to your smartphone, so when that asshole kid from next door is keying your side panels again, you'll have enough evidence to justify doing the same thing to his face later that night.

[$199]
If you're about to buy a security camera for your home what's the first thing you look out for? Is it one that does the job and catches criminals in the act of taking a dump on your sofa? Or would you rather prioritise a camera that looks fancy? If you're part of the latter camp then you're a moron, but its fine, because the Hive Home Security Camera ticks both of your boxes. Boasting a 130 degree field of view, 1080p HD recording quality and a smartphone alert system, this security camera is one of the least crappy looking devices out there on the market. It was designed by the man who made Sodastream Source, so you know it's badass.

[$159] / [£249]
Where would we be without the GOPro camera? The internet would be entirely devoid of lame skater videos, Russians climbing tall shit, and extreme sports jerks attempting to break their spines for a few more views on their vines. That's not a world I want to live in. So thank Jebus himself for the brand new GOPro Hero5, which comes with voice control, one-button recording, noise cancellation and improved water resistance. Capable of shooting 4K video at 30 frames per second, and with added noise cancellation and video stabilisation features, that video of your mate Dave splitting his shin bones clean open has never looked so slick.

[$15]
A tripod and stand that fits on EVERY SMARTPHONE and cases! Always on your keychain ready to go. You also get a cool camera timer app included. Props to the Keyprop.

The KLYP LED light and case for iPhone 4 and 4S comprises of two parts, the case and the light obviously. The case is rigid polycarbonate with a soft-touch coating making it silky smooth with a felt lining to ensure it won't scratch your phone. And the freaking amazing LED light makes your otherwise pants photos Amazeplumbs! Giving natural skin tones to your videos and stills in low light, it can be quickly snapped on or off. The light is small and light enough to fit in any bag and comes with a second snap-on adaptor for a tripod. Brilliant.

The world's most advanced 7" tablet! HD display, Dolby audio, fast Wi-Fi.

- World's first tablet with dual-band, dual-antenna Wi-Fi for 40% faster downloads and streaming (compared to iPad 3)
- 1280x800 HD display with polarizing filter and anti-glare
- Dolby audio and dual-driver stereo speakers
- 1.2 Ghz dual-core processor
- Integrated support for Facebook, Twitter, Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo! and more, as well as Exchange calendar, contacts, and email.
- Kindle FreeTime - set the tablet up for kids. Set daily screen limits, and give access to appropriate content for each child.

Sounds good, what do you think?