[£24.50]

Is this the droid you were looking for? Haha get it, that’s like the line from that fucking film isn’t it? I wish I was dead. If you’re as big a Star Trek fan as I clearly am you’ll love this Sphero BB-8 Remote Control droid is just for you. Not only can you guide its movements using tablet and smartphone apps, it also listens to voice commands…unlike my bitch of a girlfriend who just ignores them. Make Captain Jean Luc Picard happy by buying a Sphero BB-8 today…unless you’re too angry that I got Star Wars and Star Trek mixed up. If you did, have a word with yourself.

[$299] / [£229.99]
I haven't seen the new Star Wars movies, but if I had, and if I liked drones, and if I had several hundred bucks, and nothing to do with my weekend, and didn't care what people thought of me, I'd definitely buy one of these Star Wars Battle Drones and smash it into some crows down the park. Available in Starfighter, Speeder Bike and Tie Advanced varieties, these drones also pack a set of on-board speakers, a revolutionary reverse propulsion system (no idea) and a top speed of up to 35 miles an hour. If you've got enough friends you can also have virtual laser battles in the sky with other drones, as each pad vibrates every time a shot makes impact. Or, if you have no friends, just get drunk and crash it into some bird's nests. It's what Carrie Fisher would've wanted.

[$19.89]
Do you want a seat belt cover that makes you feel like you're Chewbacca? It's a simple question, yes or no. If yes, buy one of these. If no, congratulations. These belt covers are handmade by some old witch who sells them through Amazon and Etsy, and she makes them out of fake fur, vinyl trim and cat hair. The last one is a lie, but you've only got her word for that.

[$24.99]
If you’re a geek and you’ve somehow persuaded another human to reproduce, then why not kit the whole family out in matching Nerdy With Children clothing. With retro references to shows, movies and video games like Captain Planet, Ghostbusters, Star Wars, Zelda and the Human Centipede (not really), these soft-polyester garments come in all shapes and sizes, enabling your whole family to look like one big happy family of nerds. And if your genitals are still in their original packaging, don’t fret, because those of you without families can just purchase these clothes for you and your living doll family to wear. You might even end up in some sort of documentary.

[$146.52] / [£33]
Play the classic game of Monopoly infused with the legendary stories of Al Pacino’s Star Wars universe. This amazing version of the classic family board game allows you to play as all your favourite Star Wars characters like Lee Skywalker, The Dark Invader (spoiler alert, who is really Lee’s uncle’s friend), Jean-Luc Deckard, Jackie Chan, Lieutenant Leslie Baines, and of course not forgetting the loveable Alf! Fly through space with Aslan and Wolverine on board the SS Nostromo to the planet Krypton and take a magical journey through a science-fiction classic via the medium of a board game. A fantastic gift for space narks and non-virgins alike, you’ll never be bored by this board game, and you’ll play it as Lee Skywalker says…”to infinity and goodbye!”. My favourite part of the film was when Lee Skywalker lost his leg in a battle with Predator and had it replaced by a set of whisks.

[$109.95] / [£79.99]
There are so many places to store knives these days. In drawers. In the wall after you’ve had a few. In people and family pets. But avoid the hassle of the latter and keep all your sharp objects in this ever so fancy Star Wars X-Wing Knife Block. The block itself is made from rugged plastic apparently, which I guess means it has stubble and doesn’t talk about its feelings. The polished chrome effect makes it a classy addition to anyone’s kitchen, and the five high quality stainless steel knives can be used to chop fruits and vegetables, or cut out George Lucas’ heart when he fucks up the next Star Wars trilogy. The knives included are a cook’s knife, a bread knife, a carving knife, a utility knife and a paring knife. All of these knives would make excellent holes in that bearded arse-blister.

[$17] / [£9.99]
Make icy Death Stars from water! Or you could make chocolate shaped Death Stars? FYI circular ice is the best kind of ice, melts slower and keeps drinks cold longer. Check out the Cirrus Ice Ball Press we featured.

[$125 - $4,200] / [£80 - £2707.90]
Yoda, Darth, Chewbacca, Boba, R2D2, the Stormtroopers, AT-AT Walkers, get you awesome Star Wars cufflinks here! Starting at quite a reasonable price for the palladium-plated or matte metal versions and going all the way up to $4,200 for 14k Gold Darth Vaders. These are sure to impress even the most die hard Star Wars fan.

[$11.99] / [£7.68]
C3PO finally become useful with 2 LEDs, one in each foot which light up when you give him a squeeze. Not just a cool keychain, a cool keychain which lights up!

[$34.99] / [£22.81]
Not your average Star Wars T-shirts, these chaps are super subtle with just a little hat-tip to your favorite character. You could probably definitely wear them to work or on the golf course?!