Express Bacon Grill
This Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill can cook up to six strips of regular or thick-cut bacon in mere minutes. How many minutes? I don't know, a bunch I guess. But it has an illuminated cooking timer so that'll probably tell you. The grill's design enables grease to funnel away neatly into the tray below, leaving you two wonderful things as a result - crispy bacon, and a fuckload of grease to drink at your leisure.