The Air Umbrella
If it’s pouring it down with rain outside and you don’t have a regular umbrella, your only options are to grapple with a stranger who does own an umbrella, or lie flat on your back with your anus pointing into the air in order to release a constant stream of gas which forces the rain away from your body. Now you have a third option that does this in a more elegant but less satisfying fashion. The Air Umbrella is so innovative that it won a design award from that Dyson bloke who makes hoovers that you can’t put your winky in to. I hate him. The Air Umbrella is essentially a battery powered fan that wafts away any pesky raindrops near your face. I don’t know if it works with gravy but you should try it. There are various sizes and prices available from their Kickstarter page, so you too can look like a fancy future jerk with your invisible Air Umbrella thingamabob.