Sugar Skull Spoon
[$20] / [£8]
If you’re morbidly obese and take too much sugar in your tea, the Sugar Skull Spoon may just be ideal. Not only does it have eye-holes ensuring part of your sugar will fall out before it reaches your gob, the skull design will remind you of your inevitable death should you keep on eating too much. The spoon is made from stainless steel and the website suggests it could suit those with a taste for Absinthe, but as any proper Absinthe drinker knows it was only Victorian ladies who drank it with sugar. An alternative use would be to cook smack in it, and then freak out as the skull frightens the shit out of you on your way up. Of course we do not endorse such a use, we feel the Sugar Skull Spoon should only be used for eating yoghurt and getting all over yourself.

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Sugar Skull Spoon
Sugar Skull Spoon
Sugar Skull Spoon
Sugar Skull Spoon

bottleLoft Fridge Bottle Hanger
[$20]
The most annoying thing about owning a fridge is having to make room for the normal stuff regular people need to survive. I sustain myself on a diet of vodka and racoon eggs, but most of you lot have the huge problem of storing the occasional morsel of food in your fridge alongside your beer. Well now using the bottleLoft by Strong Like Bull Magnets, you can just stick your beer to the roof of your fridge like they’re bats or something. For a pledge of at least $20 you’ll get one or more bottleLoft strips that stick to your fridge’s ceiling with a super strong adhesive backing. The heavy duty magnets grab your beer and dangle them safely above your food as if by magic. This ingenious idea enables you to store more beer beneath the beer you’ve hung up, and in addition to the beer in your cupboards, the beer in your pocket, the beer in your hand and the beer in your stomach.

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bottleLoft
bottleLoft
bottleLoft
bottleLoft Fridge Bottle Hanger

Mini Batman Bat Signal
[$7.99]
If someone you know suffers from tiny crimes like wasp murder or midget arson, then you need a tiny crime-fighting superhero to save the day. Some fat lass sat on miniature Superman and now he’s dead, so your best bet is calling midget Batman into action with this Mini Batman Bat Signal. Running on a single battery this miniature lamp signal is the perfect addition to any room, if you’re one of those people who collect figurines well into your thirties. Also if you’re seducing a fellow geek I think this would make outstanding mood lighting, as you set the scene with the bat signal before showing your partner your dusty Bat-cave.

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Mini Batman Bat Signal
Mini Batman Bat Signal
Mini Batman Bat Signal

Lego Lunch Box
[$15.99] / [£8.30]
Whether you’re a big kid like Tom Hanks in Big, or a little kid like, I don’t know, Gary Coleman, then you’ll love the idea of storing your lunch in this Lego Lunch Box. Just shy of 8 by 4 by 3 inches, you’ve got plenty of room to store whatever food you like in here. Sandwiches? No problem. A square melon? Sure why the hell not. Roadkill? Anything bigger than a weasel and you’ll be forcing it in. It’s made from plastic polypropylene, which is the good kind of plastic that scientists say won’t give you cancer in thirty years, which is always a bonus. Just think, if you and your friends all bought one, you could build something huge! Or you could just eat your lunch. I reckon you could fit fifty scotch eggs in there, give it a try.

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£ Check it out

Lego Lunch Box
Lego Lunch Box
Lego Lunch Box

Pet Couch Enchanted Home Pet Ultra Plush Club Chair
[$99.99] / [£79.99]
Cats can sleep anywhere, the lazy little bastards. Dogs however require a certain amount of comfort and majestic surroundings in which to slumber and dream about chasing things that don’t exist. This Enchanted Home Pet Ultra Plush Club Chair has a name that just rolls off your tongue doesn’t it? What’s wrong with calling it a Dog Sofa? A Chez-Hound. Whos-A-Lay-Z-Boy? I should be in the dog furniture naming industry, if it exists. This finely crafted masterpiece of canine comfort contains a completely made-up feature called the SnOOzZzONE Pet Comfort System. I’m not making this up, google it. Whoever writes these titles was clearly drunk on power and dog-love. It has a storage area for toys and bones, removable covers that you can wash the dog stink out of, and elevated draft free sleeping. Because your dog is going to give a shit about that when it drapes itself over a hunk of warm, drool encrusted foam after it chews the crap out of this thing. Still, it looks funny. Ha, tiny dog sofa.

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£ Check it out

Pet Couch Enchanted Home Pet Ultra Plush Club Chair
Pet Couch Enchanted Home Pet Ultra Plush Club Chair
Pet Couch Enchanted Home Pet Ultra Plush Club Chair
Pet Couch

Gigs 2 Go Flash Drive Pack
[$69.95]
If you’re like me you always need a USB drive for something. I share photos of erotic hedge trimmings with friends down at the pub, but whether you’re a creative, a business jerk or just a hoarder of files, these tear-away Gigs 2 Go flash drives are a handy solution to all your storage needs. Coming in 1GB and 8GB, these drives are made from recycled paper pulp and plastic, just like Kim Kardashian’s buttocks. But unlike Kim Kardashian’s buttocks these drives are virtually indestructible (time have mercy on that butt), their memory chip is waterproof, shockproof and doesn’t even need a cap for protection. They come in packs of four and are the perfect way to share your work, your spreadsheets or perhaps reams of insulting limericks with a co-worker in a quick and easy way.

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Gigs 2 Go Flash Drive Pack
Gigs 2 Go Flash Drive Pack
Gigs 2 Go Flash Drive Pack
Gigs 2 Go Flash Drive Pack

75 Years of Marvel Book
[$115.81] / [£87.75]
This compendium of Marvel’s most celebrated characters is a must for any comic book fan. If you’re tired of all these rebooted cinematic incarnations of your favourite heroes, where the only difference is this new actor has a better haircut and the villain is a metaphor for feminist cat food or whatever, then this 75 Years of Marvel book should wash away those Hollywood versions and restore the childhood imagination you once had, before TV molested your brain. The XL format of this book comes with over 700 pages of images including vintage comic books, original art and behind the scenes stills. Satisfy your inner geek by grabbing a copy of Marvel’s magnum opus and take a gander at how the likes of Spider-Man, Hulk, Captain America and Batman have changed over the years. By the way, I erroneously included Batman in there on purpose, just to annoy every single comic book fan ever. I like to incur rage in strangers.

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£ Check it out

75 Years of Marvel Book
75 Years of Marvel Book
75 Years of Marvel Book
75 Years of Marvel Book
75 Years of Marvel Book

Billetus Carbon Fibre Wallet
[$45]
Are you annoyed about your huge bulging wallet ruining your silhouette when you pose in tight hotpants or shorts? I know I am. I could earn less money and I could wear clothes that weren’t so tight on my sweet cheeks, but that’s just not going to happen. Instead I’ll just buy the Billetus Carbon Fibre Wallet, a super compact stylish wallet made from aircraft grade aluminium. Coming in at 8.5mm thick for the minimus and 9.5mm for a maximus, they are the same thickness as an iPhone 4s, or seventy four wasps squashed into the shape of an iPhone 4s. There are various pricings available on the Billetus Kickstarter page for both the minimus, which holds five cards plus cash, and the maximus, which holds seven plus cash. It also boasts it will keep your business cards in pristine condition, so you can hand out contact details for your erotic animal boutique to strangers without them being all crinkly and junk. Order now to receive yours just after xmas, making it the perfect gift for people you don’t love enough to get them a present on time

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Billetus Carbon Fibre Wallet
Billetus Carbon Fibre Wallet
Billetus Carbon Fibre Wallet
Billetus Carbon Fibre Wallet
Billetus Carbon Fibre Wallet

Cholera Fixed Blade Knife
[$189.99]
Hey fellow marketing guys, so we’ve got this awesome new knife out, It’s an all mountain blade designed by adventure photographer William Egbert Jr who spent 15 years coming up with it. It can whittle wood, butcher animals and probably cut through the centre of the earth if you drop it. What shall we call it? Hmm, I dunno. Let’s name it after a disease. Why? Because diseases are sexy. Oh yeah I forgot! Let’s call it cancer. No everyone has that. Ebola? That’s on trend but it’ll pass. Cholera? I love it! It’s timeless and makes you think of ruggedness like the dirty water in which Cholera spreads easily. So here you are, the Cholera Fixed Blade. A 3/ 16 inch carbon steel blade. Now go cut some shit with it Mr outdoorsy guy.

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Cholera Fixed Blade Knife
Cholera Fixed Blade

Bobine Charging Cable
[$9.95] / [£22.99]
We are at a moment in earth’s history where there are only three major problems facing humanity. War, famine, and phone batteries. The sight of a phone that’s been plugged in all night having only charged two percent is worse than seeing a thousand starving children or the dismembered limbs of a shrapnel riddled freedom fighter. The usual suspect when this inhuman tragedy occurs is of course a knackered cable; whether you use an iPhone, Samsung or a cup on the end of some string, a frayed and battered charging wire will always been the bane of your existence. Well with the hardwearing Bobine cable you’ll have no more charging woes, no longer will you have to contort your wire into shapes the Karma Sutra thinks are ridiculous just to get a bit of charge. This 24 inch cable works with Android and iPhone phones, and flexes into any shape without damage whilst coming with two dash mountable clips for in car charging fun. The thing even stands on end like an enchanted snake with your phone precariously balanced on top of it. I guarantee one day someone chains several of these together to make a mile high one.

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£ Check it out

Bobine Charging Cable
Bobine Charging Cable
Bobine Charging Cable
Bobine Charging Cable



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