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Frontier Plus Portable Woodburning Stove
[£299]
Trees. What have they ever done for us? Aside from get in the way when we’re trying to pull some sweet BMX stunts off-road. Now with the Frontier Plus portable woodburning stove you can scorch even more of these pesky life-giving bastards when you’re out and about in the forest. This fancy stove can be used in tents, sheds, tipis, houses, or underground sex dungeons for cooking or heating. It even has adjustable legs and a glass window for you to watch your logs burn away into cinders. Take that mother nature, you cow.

£ Check it out

Frontier Plus Portable Woodburning Stove
Frontier Plus Portable Woodburning Stove
Frontier Plus Portable Woodburning Stove

Frontier Plus Portable Woodburning Stove

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Hexagonal Beer Pong Cups
[$15]
Beer pong is a fantastic way to spend a booze fuelled evening and spread STDs quickly and efficiently. But until now any Beer Pong athletes with OCD would spend the entire time re-racking the cups and getting all anxious over the weird gaps in between. Now with these Hexagonal Beer Pong Cups both of those terrible problems are no more. Phew, now it’s just world hunger and terrorism to sort then we’re done.

$ Check it out

Hexagonal Beer Pong Cups
Hexagonal Beer Pong Cups

Hexagonal Beer Pong Cups

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The Cloud Interactive Speaker Lamp
[$3,360] / [£2,315]
You thought The Cloud was that place you’d uploaded all of your pornography, but you’d be wrong. The Cloud is also an awesome multimedia device which you most certainly need in your life. This interactive speaker and lamp can stream music and create ambient light displays based on your awful music collection. It probably rains when Kesha comes on. If you ask it nicely it’ll also mimic a thunderstorm using sound and light, just like Storm from the X-Men when she’s wasted. Made from LEDs and hypoallergenic polyester fiber, these clouds are in high demand, so buy one now before Jesus sails down on his surf-cloud and batters you to death with his neon fists.

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£ Check it out

The Cloud Interactive Speaker Lamp
The Cloud Interactive Speaker Lamp
The Cloud Interactive Speaker Lamp

The Cloud Interactive Speaker Lamp

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Pinch EDC Multi-Tool
[$22]
Tell a woman you’re packing a tool that’s under 1.5 inches long and 0.5 inches thick and she’ll be really disappointed…unless you’re helping her with some home improvements that is. The stainless steel Pinch EDC Multi-tool contains a wrench, mini pry bar, ruler, hex bit holder, scraper, screwdriver, nail puller and a wire stripping notch. Oh, and as always with these kinds of tools, the ever present bottle opener. Because if a job ain’t worth doing drunk, it ain’t worth doing.

$ Check it out

Pinch EDC Multi-Tool
Pinch EDC Multi-Tool

Pinch EDC Multi-Tool

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The Dunking Buddy Biscuit Dunker
[$9.95]
Some people call them cookies, others call them biscuits. What we all agree on is that circular discs of chocolatey crumbly goodness taste even better when dunked in milk, coffee or tea. Unfortunately the United Nations recently declared losing half your cookie in a drink as a war crime, but thankfully the Dunking Buddy is here to help. Using a revolutionary technology described as “magnets or some shit”, this device can be attached to the cup included or any standard household cup to ensure you never lose a single morsel of cookie. It’s also proudly made in the USA, for any of you snackfood racists out there.

$ Check it out

The Dunking Buddy Biscuit Dunker
The Dunking Buddy Biscuit Dunker
The Dunking Buddy Biscuit Dunker

The Dunking Buddy Biscuit Dunker

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The Floyd Leg
[$189] / [£130]
If you offered me a Floyd Leg for $189 I’d probably assume you meant one of Mayweather’s, and to be honest I’d pay double to see that man in a wheelchair. However the Floyd Leg is actually a clever piece of thinking that allows you to turn any flat surface into a table. This kit comprises of four powder coated metal legs which clamp on to any surface to make a table. 29 inches high, they are simple, portable, and require no tools to attach. So now you can make a dinner table from Grandma’s gravestone, just like you always wanted.

$ Check it out
£ Check it out

The Floyd Leg
The Floyd Leg

The Floyd Leg

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Tannus Puncture-Proof Tyres
[$50] / [£49.99]
Tannus Tyres have developed cutting edge polymer technology to create solid state tyres which cannot puncture or deflate. Much like my sister after too much booze, they utilise a unique foaming process to create these tyres, whichclosely match premium city bike tyres in the way they handle. They’re also much lighter and come in a range of pretty colours. You know what this means? We can now throw all our broken glass, tacks, and razor blades into the path of any oncoming cyclist. If their tyres burst and they collapse into a crumpled heap, well it’s not your fault if they’re behind the times.

$ Check it out
£ Check it out

Tannus Puncture-Proof Tyres
Tannus Puncture-Proof Tyres
Tannus Puncture-Proof Tyres

Tannus Puncture-Proof Tyres

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Light-up LED Shoes [$79.97] / [£60]
I often get so drunk I forget where my feet are, so these Light-up LED shoes are perfect for me. They’re perfect for you too, if you’re the kind of person who wants to look like they’ve stood in radioactive dog shit. Each shoe has seven static colours and five flashy colour modes in case you didn’t think bright purple glowing sneakers were enough. They’re available in men’s and women’s versions, charged via USB, and are the perfect footwear for raves or disco-funerals.

$ Check it out
£ Check it out


Light-up LED Shoes
Light-up LED Shoes
Light-up LED Shoes

Light-up LED Shoes

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The ManCan
[$195]
If you’re stood drinking out of a regular midget-sized can and your friend is downing beer straight from a ManCan, you’re going to look like a bit of a knob. Not affiliated in any way with the Mankini, the ManCan is a portable keg which can hold up to a gallon of delicious fighting juice. The stainless steel ManCan has a pressure regulating CO2 cartridge and standard keg tap, keeping your beer fizzy and fresh for up to a week…if you’re too much of a soft-arse to drink it all before then.

$ Check it out

The ManCan
The ManCan
The ManCan

The ManCan

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Artisan Meat Subscription Box
[$55] / [£29]
Usually if people ask to show you their meat box you should probably say no, but with this Artisan Meat Subscription Box clearly that’s not the case. Yes that’s right, for bugger-all money you can get a specially picked box of fancy meats delivered directly to your door. It’s a subscription…to fucking meat! Do I even need to bother selling it to you anymore? You’ve already bought four haven’t you? These make an excellent gift to meat lovers, and are a fantastic way of bullying a vegetarian. Plus it doubles up as a lovely dress-up box for Lady Gaga enthusiasts.

$ Check it out
£ Check it out

Artisan Meat Subscription Box
Artisan Meat Subscription Box

Artisan Meat Subscription Box

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