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SipCaddy Bathtime Cupholder
[$13.95]
Until now, the only things you could drink in the shower were shower water, bubble bath, shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, shower gel or your own urine, blood and tears. However, this choice of bathtime beverages has now been expanded to everything ever, thanks to the SipCaddy Bathtime Cupholder. This handly little bastard sticks to your wall and can hold bottles, cups, cans and really big eggs probably. Although it's not intended for use with glass, but that shouldn't stop a renegade bath-drinker like you!

$ Check it out

SipCaddy Bathtime Cupholder

SipCaddy Bathtime Cupholder →

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Mini Toothpick Crossbow
[$35.96]
Has your work colleague seen you slacking off playing World of Warcraft at your desk? Perhaps the woman who sits next to you noticed you took 40 minutes to have a dump yesterday. If so, why not blind your enemies / coworkers with this Mini Toothpick Crossbow. With a range of thirty to fifty feet, this mini maiming device can cause trauma to human flesh and soda cans alike. You could probably use it to reenact the Battle of Hastings using mice too, if you wanted.

$ Check it out

Mini Toothpick Crossbow →

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BabyDam Bathtub Divider
[$45.99]
When a baby drowns there's often a lot of paperwork to fill in. If you're sick of filling in dead-infant forms every week, you'd probably do well to purchase this BabyDam Bathtub Divider. If your bath is compatible it will separate it into two sections to make it more suitable for a tiny little human, with the BabyDam's design allowing you to modify the tub as your child grows. If your bath isn't compatible, get ready to fill in some forms my friend.

$ Check it out

BabyDam Bathtub Divider
BabyDam Bathtub Divider

BabyDam Bathtub Divider →

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Cubiio Laser Engraver
[$499]
The Cubioo Laser Engraver is the most compact laser engraver in the world...until someone makes a smaller one, or they put this one into a trash compactor. Capable of engraving designs into paper, wood, leather and human flesh, the Cubioo is ideal for personalising keychains and small pets alike. The Cubioo's laser is so powerful it could even cut through the moon, as well as fabric, felt and cardboard. So what are you waiting for you non-engraving idiot? Get one of these and start burning your name into stuff!

$ Check it out

Cubiio Laser Engraver
Cubiio Laser Engraver

Cubiio Laser Engraver →

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The Marlowe Lunch Bag
[$44]
There's just something about a brown bag lunch that makes whatever you're eating more delicious. But if you're still taking your lunch to work in this manner when you're 40, people might start to wonder where you are on the spectrum. This Marlowe Lunch Bag is a reusable and less spazzy version of the classic brown bag, made out of altogether classier waxed canvas. Waterproof, closed with a fold and coming with a single exterior pocket, you could probably carry soup in this and eat it straight from the bag if you wanted.

$ Check it out

The Marlowe Lunch Bag
The Marlowe Lunch Bag

The Marlowe Lunch Bag →

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Ameland Letter Opener
[$50]
Whether you're opening letters or cleaving apart the throats of co-workers, it's always good to have a knife in the office. This Ameland Letter Opener was designed by Enzo Mari (no idea) for Danese Milano (who?) in 1951 (when?). Formed from a single piece of twisted steel, this 8.7 inch blade will make short work of paper and flesh alike.

$ Check it out

Ameland Letter Opener
Ameland Letter Opener

Ameland Letter Opener →

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Spill-Proof Bowl
[$13.99] / [£9.99]
Babies are messy little bastards, which is why I've laminated all of mine, as well as my entire home, making everything wipe clean. But if you're against smothering your offspring in plastic you may instead wish to purchase this spill proof bowl. Available in blue for boys, pink for girls and green for gender neutral obsessed parents, this bowl's internal rotation design means it says upright no matter how mental your kids are. It's also made of plastic and is dishwasher proof, just like my children.

$ Check it out
£ Check it out

Spill-Proof Bowl
Spill-Proof Bowl

Spill-Proof Bowl →

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Beer Shotgunning Tool
[$17]
Hey bro check out this like, totally gnarly beer shotguning tool for when you need to be a total bro on the go. Like, you know, for parties and junk. I know right? Instead of making like a, like, like a hole in a can with a knife or your weiner, you can just toally use this to do it for you, which means more time for shotgunning more beers bro. Yeah bro. I know! Bro. Bro! BRO!

$ Check it out

Beer Shotgunning Tool
Beer Shotgunning Tool

Beer Shotgunning Tool →

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GoPro HERO 6 Black
[$449] / [£499.99]
Are you so extreme that you need some kind of label telling parents to keep their kids away from you? Great, me too. Now we've established that we're both a danger to society, let me introduce you to the GoPro HERO 6 Black, the perfect photo camera thingy for people what are dead extreme and stuff. Twice as performancey as the HERO 5, the HERO 6 shoots 4K60, 2.7K120, 1440p120, 1080p240 video and more. The 2 inch touch display means you can faff with your footage with ease, and if your camera falls off while you're skateboarding off a waterfall, don't worry, this baby is waterproof up to 10 metres. You might not survive crashing into a lake from height, but your camera might.

$ Check it out
£ Check it out

GoPro HERO 6 Black
GoPro HERO 6 Black

GoPro HERO 6 Black →

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Biolite Smokeless Firepit
[$199.95]
Smoke inhalation is literally my favourite thing about fire. I love breathing in huge gulps of the stuff and passing out for fun. If you don't share my passion for slow, gradual asphyxiation, then the Biolite Smokeless Firepit is probably something you should buy. Using a revolutionary technology called “something I was too lazy to read about”, the Biolite Firepit can act as a cooker, heat source or evidence destroyer; and all without producing a single plume of smoke. Oh, also you can watch your fire develop through a little screen...if you're into that.

$ Check it out

Biolite Smokeless Firepit
Biolite Smokeless Firepit

Biolite Smokeless Firepit →

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Bose Wireless Earbuds
[$245.95]
Exercising is even less fun when you can hear your own sweaty grunts. That's why many of us listen to music when we're getting our sweet pump on. Unfortunately, that son of a bitch gravity often causes most wired earphones to slurp out of your ears halfway through a session. But these Bose Wireless Earbuds will stay firmly fixed in your ear, because they've got no wires to yank themselves out with. Available in midnight blue and yellow citron, these wire-hating tarts can last up to five hours. So that's four and a half hours of sitting down and half an hour of exercise.

$ Check it out

Bose Wireless Earbuds
Bose Wireless Earbuds
Bose Wireless Earbuds

Bose Wireless Earbuds →

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Field Notes Dime Novel Notebook
[$12.95]
Field Notes make fancy designer note books, and this one is based on the look of ye olde Dime Novels. Dime Novels are basically really tiny books that you can keep in your pocket, lose on the train or lose on the bus. People used to read them before Kindles and pornography stole their attention. This 72-page notebook pretends to be one, just like you'll pretend to be an actual proper writer when you draw dirty cartoons inside it.

$ Check it out

Field Notes Dime Novel Notebook
Field Notes Dime Novel Notebook

Field Notes Dime Novel Notebook →

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Polaroid Onestep 2 i-Type Camera
[$99.99] / [£109.99]
If you want an instant physical photograph these days you're forced to go to a photo booth, and it's difficult to have a party slash orgy in those tiny things. Instead, you could just use Polaroid's new Onestep 2 i-Type Instant Camera, whose name is as about as catchy as a nine hour silent opera. This new Polaroid model has a 2ft to infinity lens, 60-day rechargable battery and a self time function. It prints instantly onto 3 by 3 inch film and can use black and white or colour, depending on how depressing you want your life to look.

$ Check it out
£ Check it out

Polaroid Onestep 2 i-Type Camera
Polaroid Onestep 2 i-Type Camera

Polaroid Onestep 2 i-Type Camera →

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