[$460] / [£320]
If you’re anything like me you came away from watching the Deadpool movie thinking “Wow, I wish I was a disfigured Ryan Reynolds in an all-in-one leather suit”. Well now you can get 50% of the way there by purchasing this Deadpool Replica Motorcycle Suit from Etsy. Coming in either full cowhide leather, sheep leather, or cordura and leather, this polyester lined suit is padded like an actual motorcycle suit and perfect for Cosplaying, Gimp Fights, or sobbing alone in your bedroom wishing you were cool. N.B. Sassy one liners and agonising internal tumors not included.

[$14.70] / [£10.24]
Unfortunately if you came here looking for a way you could pay to stamp on Nicolas Cage’s face we can’t help you, although if we’re honest his career has gone so shit so quickly he’d probably let you do it for free just to lick the gum off your shoe. This Nicolas Cage Face Stamp is of the inky variety, and I’m going to assume you know how a stamp works so let’s not concern ourselves with that. This is made from wood and rubber, just like Nicolas Cage’s face. That doesn’t make any sense. Leave me alone.

[$10.24] / [£7.12]
If people in your office are seriously starting to piss you off then you’ve got two options. Intimidate them by turning up to work in full body armour waving a Glock pistol and screaming “Death To The West!”, or buy this Co-Workers I Want To Punch In The Face Notebook. You’ll notice this notebook is quite specific about punching your enemies in the face. If you want to hit Carol from accounts straight in the groin with a swift tactical uppercut…you’re gonna need a different notebook. But if Chad from HR keeps on stealing your lunch / desk / organs…then it’s time to write that shit down.

[$33.90] / [£25.95]
Ever wondered what a woman's scream looks like? How about your child's gargling noises as they choke on a small piece of asparagus at dinner? Now you can find out and save these precious moments forever, thanks to this Personalised Sound Print some clever sod on Etsy has made. Available in several different stlyes and colours, your print will say what the soundwave represents beneath it. I wonder if they're prepared to lie? I'd love it if my sister thought her soundwave said she was beautiful, only for me to reveal on her death bed I called her a fat slag and had it immortalised in print.

[$78] / [£52]
Do you know why the Vikings were so badass and cruel? Easy. They were perpetually drunk. When you can't put down your beer because it's stored inside a giant horn, you have no choice but to sink those suds and fill her up again. And now you can relive the Viking life for yourself with one of these Hand Carved Drinking Horns available on Etsy. Prices vary from $70 to $3,000 depending on how shit / good you want your horn to be. But really, you can't put a price on something this fancy. As soon as you start drinking from one of these horns you'll feel a sudden urge to commit unspeakable atrocities upon coastal towns and villages. How can you resist?

[$29.99] / [£19.71]
When you’re out in the woods or in a bar full of hipsters do you suddenly get the urge to chop something? Me too! This Tactical Credit Card Ax may come in handy then. The stainless steel multi-tool fits into a credit card and contains parts to modify a stick into a tomahawk, ax, knife or small shovel, in addition to various wrench, socket and saw functions. It is made by Survco, a disabled veteran owned and operated business. Basically guys who lost limbs want to help you take other people’s with ease.

[$69] / [£45.62]
Each pair of Neon shades comes with a battery pack which uses two AA batteries (lasts over 12 hours) and has a button that controls 4 modes (off, constant on, slow flicker, fast flicker). Trouble flagging down that late night taxi? Problem solved. These neon shades use the brightest glow wire in the industry, inspired by Rayban Wayfarers with clear mirrored lenses.

[$27] / [£18.06]
We love cookies and we love coffee! Nom nom nom check out nom nom nom this nom cookie monster mug, carry your cookies and coffee in one hand!

[$16.99] / [£11]
Avoid meat confusion on the grill by branding your food, a full alphabet is included.

[$12] / [£8.09]
You have a boring keyboard, that's a fact! You love superheroes (might not be a fact?) Why not brighten up your keyboard with the Mac Keyboard Super Hero Skin? Will fit on the wireless Mac keyboard plus 13" and 15" MacBooks and most MacBook Airs and it won't block out the backlit keys. Easy to apply, leaves no residue.