I love washing my hot nubile body with actual donuts, because not only are glazing and jam natural exfoliates, but the sugar actually attracts wasps to sting me all over and remind me I’m not such a big shot after all. Alternatively you could wash yourself with these Donut soaps instead, I guess. They come with a raspberry and chocolate scent and are made from, I dunno, whatever the hell soap is made of. But they are also vegan, which means no horses were pulped in their making. I think that’s disgraceful. There are too many horses. We should pulp more.