Squeaker Poochlight Pet Safety Products
[$70] / [£45+]
If you’ve had to clean up a dead dog’s corpse, you’ll know it’s quite a tiring experience. I’m a professional dog assassin so I have to, but for those of you who love these stupid little shit machines we have a product to help keep your dogs less dead. The Poochlight Pet Safety Products are a range of dog accessories that light up your stupid mutt, including collars, leads and butt plugs. The last one is a lie. They all come with a chargeable ion battery that provides 24 hours of flashing life, so if your dog goes missing for more than that time they’re probably gutter-mush.