Giant Cola Bottle
[$20] / [£12.99]
Whether it’s Christmas, a birthday or just a special occasion, give someone the gift of Type 2 Diabetes with this massive fuck-off Cola Bottle. Remember those jelly sweets you used to get as a kid? Everyone knows the cola bottles were the best. Why buy a pack of fifty and eat them individually like some sort of brain-dead moron when you could chew on this huge sugary blob which is 120 times the size of a regular gummi bottle. There is a diet version coming out soon, but seriously, what is the point? We’re all going to die one day, do you want to go whilst lovingly sleeping next to your partner in bed like a little bitch? If the end is nigh, go out whilst chewing on an oversized gummi coke bottle.
Also, were you kinda weird and enjoyed chewing the heads off gummi bears to swap them around and make mixed-race monstrosities? I was, so why not do it with a gummi-bear the size of a small marmot.